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 1. How nice can you be in five words or less?

- "You matter". That is the best I can do.

2. What would you do if Reddit was down for a month?

- I can't imagine that would EVER happen, but I don't know. I would live.

3. What's the raunchiest thing you've ever stumbled upon?

- Hmm. Okay. Don't go to e621.net. Never go there. 

4. What type of clothing do you hate to see on (other) women? What type of clothing do you hate to see on (other) men?

- Well, logically I would say it's none of my business what people wear. However, I WILL say that I cannot stand heels - period. I absolutely loathe any kind of shoe with a heel. Yes, I know the origin of heeled shoes. Platforms especially digust me. I know, it's weird. But am I going to TELL someone they can't wear it because I don't like it? No. 

5. What's the craziest dream (sleeping dream) you had?

- I can't. It's way too long to post here. Send me a message if you want to know. 

6. What aspects of Reddit culture are completely lost on you?

- I don't know. I don't use it enough. I could ask Azmondeus, though. He's somewhat established in the Heroes of the Storm community.

7. How rude is it to snap your fingers at a waiter or waitress? Have you done it before?

- Quite rude. They're still humans and you should treat them as such.

8. Has a fart ever made a time in your life unbearable to deal with (ex. farting in front of a crush)?

- No. I have cleared rooms before while sick, though. 

9. If taken, what does your significant other say or do that pisses you off? If you're single, what is something a past lover or crush done or said that pissed you off?

- I don't think anything he does actually ENRAGES me. I might roll my eyes or be somewhat disappointed, but I wouldn't ask him to change these things (unless they legitimately upset me). He doesn't like to go anywhere - ever, while I'm very much into going places. But we compromise! I am very idealistic and future-oriented ( I love making plans and schedules) whereas he is most definitely in the now. So it's hard to share my ideas with him when they have no basis in reality at present. 

10. What do you believe is the meaning of life?

- To live. To take care of our planet, do what we're meant to do, and move on.

11. Do you believe Atheism is turning into somewhat of a religion?

- Atheism is the absence of religion or religious beliefs. People who take it so seriously that they are willing to destroy others who do not have the same (lack of) beliefs are no better than religious zealots. 

12. What are some leftover foods that you would rather eat cold, besides pizza?

- I actually don't like cold pizza. I heat it up. That said, I will eat leftover salad cold. :P Though, I do prefer it if the boiled eggs are still warm...

13. What are some "NO, DON'T!" embarrassing pet stories (ex. dog taking all your used tampons out of the trash when guests arrive)?

- I don't have any.

14. Do you believe America should legalize drugs? If you think they should legalize only some drugs, which drugs do you think they should legalize?

- Marijuana, which is not a drug, should be legalized - but it should be regulated as alcohol is regulated. You should be able to purchase it from vendors, grow your own (up to a certain amount) at home, and you should be fined if you are at work or driving while under its influence.  I actually hate the stuff, as it makes me sick. I just wouldn't let someone smoke it in my apartment.

15. What are three things you can buy from a store such as Target or Wal*Mart that would make a cashier uncomfortable?

- Honestly most cashiers don't pay attention to it - they look for bar codes because they've scanned ten thousand items that day already. Chances are they won't even remember anything you bought unless it really, really stuck out in their mind.

16. What are you excited about this very second?

- MOVING.

17. Do you think Daniel Tosh (host of Tosh.0) is a total douche? Why do you think he is?

- Because it's funny to people and it makes him money. 

18. If you have had penetration sex with a male partner, what does it feel to have them come inside you (with or without a condom)?

- I've never had anyone ejaculate inside of me without a condom. Penetrative sex for me is very uncomfortable most of the time, but I don't mind doing it. 

19. What was your first sexual experience like? If you have never had sex but have done other sexual things, you can talk about those. If you never had sex or other sexual things, talk about how you would like your first time to go or what you expect to happen.

- Painful. Az was my first (and hopefully my last), and it took over a month for me to be able to take him. 

20. Would you vote a homosexual president into office? Why or why not?

- If the person can do the job effectively then I don't care if that person is male, female, agender, homosexual, asexual, or whatever else. I don't care if he or she is in a relationship with his or her running mate. I DON'T CARE. 

21. If a zombie apocalypse happened in the U.S., which political party do you think would handle the situation best: Democrat or Republican? Or would another party handle it better? Or would the political party not matter?

- Oh please. Political parties are a multi-headed dragon fighting itself. Both care about their country, but propaganda goes BOTH ways. There is not one good and one evil - they're both motivated by fear and hatred and it needs to stop. If a zombie apocalypse happened here, we'd be FUCKED because nobody could agree on ANYTHING. 

22. What's the story behind your username (either on here, Tumblr, or Reddit if you have one)?

- A white elephant is a possession its owner cannot dispose of, and its cost or maintinence is out of proportion to its usefulness.  Something that is too costly to keep but impossible to get rid of. It can also represent a useless, expensive, but decorative odd item. Some days, I feel like a white elephant. Odd, generally useless, but impossible to be rid of.

23. Why do you believe tipping is a normal thing and expected in jobs such as being a waiter/waitress? Why do you think they are paid such low wages in the first place: because of the tipping or something else?

- I don't think it's a normal thing. In many countries it is frowned upon. I will tip if it is expected, and the waiter was friendly and didn't upset me (which is basically all the time). I believe that tipping shouldn't be a thing at all, but I believe that they should be paid minimum wage at least. They stand on their feet all day and are the ones who face the worst of customers. "Oh this wasn't cooked to my liking? It's clearly the waiter's fault!" They should at least be paid as much as everyone else. 

24. What unpopular opinions do you hold?

- OH BOY. I think makeup is gross and think it makes people look fake. I don't like heels, done up nails/the smell of nail polish... I don't like drinking, smoking, drugs, marijuana, reality TV... I don't give a fuck about TV/netflix/movies, etc. Sexuality disgusts me - people who flaunt sexuality to draw people in, etc. I'm pretty sure I'm not human at this point. :/  OH. And I don't like spicy food, onions, peppers, mushrooms, or seafood! :o

25. If God existed, what would be the one question you'd ask him/her?

- "Am I broken?" 

26. When was the last time you stood up for something you believed in?

- I don't know.

27. What is your biggest turn off of a person (besides physically)?

- Piggishness - in both genders. Overtly sexual people.

28. What's your most embarrassing sex (or sexual) story? If you haven't had sex, talk about an embarrassing sex story you heard.

- I don't have one. 

29. What song cover do you like better than the original?

- Disturbed's version of The Sound of Silence.

30. What would you give up for Lent (even if you aren't religious)?

- /shrug

@bonesofivory (livejournal)